Book Review- Love in the Time of Cholera

I hate this book with a passion!!! If you enjoyed this book, I don’t really recomend reading this review. But if you didn’t or haven’t read it, this might save you from reading it and give you a good laugh at the same time.

I’ve got to use the description from the back of the book for this one. Why? Because other than what is on the back, nothing happens in this book. NOTHING. I (ahem) added a few notes of my own in bold. In the interest of keeping the summary truthful, you know.

“In their youth, {obviously youth= when she was 13 years old. Duh.} Florentino Ariza and Fermina Daza {if you don’t get those names mixed up, I’m impressed.} fall passionately in love. {through letters, of course. They never actually had a conversation} When Fermina eventually chooses to marry a wealthy, well-born doctor, Florentino is devastated {i.e. mopes around for 50 years instead of, you know, moving on}, but he is a romantic. As he rises in his business career he whiles away the years in 622 affairs {we learn the details of many of these affairs. Included: prostitutes, random ladies, cleaning ladies, and a 12 year old girl (I’m sorry, that’s just twisted)}- yet he reserves his heart for Fermina. Her husband dies at last, and Florentino purposefully attends the funeral. {Um. Jerk.} Fifty-one years, nine months, and four days after he first declared his love for Fermina, he will do so again. {obsessive much?}

Can you see why I disliked the book? I’m sorry for being so negative, but seriously. Seriously. The book’s entire plot line is outlined above. Other than that, the book consists of:

75% totally useless information, like pages upon pages about how Fermina smelled like decaying old people (gross!)

15% Florentino’s 622 affairs, in disturbing detail

10% pointless metaphors and similes. Example: “he was crying with tremendous loud wails, the way Arabs cry for their dead, sitting in a trickle of fouled water that might well have been a pool of tears.”

To me, that’s not beautiful language. That’s wastelful language. Wasteful of my time, eye strain, and patience. And that is the least wordy example I could find! Honestly, every single sentence in the book in a run-on. Daughter of Smoke and Bone is probably the only book I’ve ever read that I enjoyed the flowery language. In that situation, it feels right. Here, it’s ridiculously excessive.

This book pained me to read. Like, physically. It took me 2 whole weeks to finish. This is like 2 months for someone who reads at normal speed. I winced at every page; the overly descriptive affairs, the holy excessive words, the fact that there ISN’T EVEN A PLOT. NONE. If this wasn’t a summer reading book, I’d have quit on the second sentence. The first sentence was the *only* redeeming factor of this book.

“It was inevitable: the scent of bitter almonds always reminded him the fate of unrequited love.”

Pretty cool sentence. The ONLY good part of the book.

And finally…

Things I Learned From Love in the Time of Cholera:

  • If a man stalks you for 51 years, while at the same time having 622 affairs, don’t worry! He’s not a creeper. He’s just madly in love. And you’ll fall for him eventually.
  • Random dead bodies floating in the river while a cruise ship is passing isn’t unusual.
  • It isn’t wrong to have a 40 year age gap between a man and a girl. Duh.
  • If you’ve been stalking your love for 50 years and she stil doesn’t want to marry you, just take her on a cruise. That will solve all of your romantic issues.
  • Parrots can be deadly.
  • The first chapter of this book has almost nothing (or everything) to do with the ‘plot’ of this book.
  • Unrequited love smells like bitter almonds, apparently.

My point is, I feel like I lost brain cells reading this book. Please don’t waste your time.

Olivia

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19 Comments

Filed under Classic

19 responses to “Book Review- Love in the Time of Cholera

  1. eponareviews

    Olivia isn’t a happy bunny! Aha! I’m guessing you didn’t like this book? πŸ˜‰ There’s only one book that I’ve ever stopped reading but fair play to you for making it to the end!

    • No, really? πŸ˜€ Most of the time I can finish for the purpose of reviewing, but other than that I quit whenever I hate something. I just do’t want to waste my time!
      O

      • eponareviews

        It’s not about wasting my time it’s that I find it painfully boring to read something I don’t like… It’s like forcing someone to eat a food they don’t like! That’s why I’m really picky about which books I actually buy! πŸ˜„

      • Oh, no, I totally get it! I feel the same way! Usually i only buy books that I’ve read and loved.

      • eponareviews

        It was for school?! 0.o With relationships in “detail”? Yucky! I ahve to read “Sophie’s World” for school (I haven’t done it yet, ooops!)

      • It was SO gross OMG. This might sound mean, but old people love really grosses me out.

      • eponareviews

        We never read anything like that at school! πŸ˜„ Even in the final year of High school! But today I heard two old ladies talking about “50 shades of grey” gahhhh! My ears bled! Awful image in my head! D:

      • I KNOW! Most (less mature) classmates of mine couldn’t handle this. I will never read 50 shades. Ever.

      • eponareviews

        I can handle them… (well… some…) but I just don’t like reading it really… The worst I’ve read was on Amazon’s sneak peak and was literally porn in writing so I didn’t buy it!! πŸ˜„ Normally I read YA novels with the basic sexual relationships, or NA, whatever they’re called!

      • I get you. It’s not like I can’t handle it, it’s that I’d rather read other stuff, you know? YA is the perfect mix.

      • eponareviews

        Yeh! YA/NA is good for me! Like… adult erotica is TOO much but a YA kiss isn’t enough… I need that bit in between!

      • It has to be realistic! One of my biggest pet peeves is pretending that teens don’t know that stuff exists.

      • eponareviews

        Exactly -__- And y’know… I’m 16… it’s patronising when the big “thing” is a kiss at the end of a book… I’m like gahhhh, c’mon!! Movies rated 12 have more than that in them!

      • It’s like; seriously? We stuff WAY worse than this at school every day! Amp it up a bit! πŸ˜‰ And other times, it’s perfect.

      • eponareviews

        Ahahaha! “Falling Fast” by Sophie McKenzie is good! Good balance with the sexual stuff πŸ™‚ You should try it! I’ve only got like 30 pages left πŸ™‚

  2. So funny, I saw your title and thought, oh good, another review on this book because I gotta tell you, I have gone back and forth over whether or not I should read this. Your review….done. That does not sound appealing in the slightest.

  3. Ahhh I can totally understand where you’re coming from! I found that this book dragged on quite a bit – very looooooong descriptions and sooooo muuuuch story. Gabriel Garcia Marquez does not do anything halfway that’s for sure – have you read 100 years of solitude? He doesn’t just narrate a story, he narrates a lifetime, sometimes multiple lifetimes spanning multiple generations. Part of me likes this about his writing and part of me just wants it to end. Here’s my review of it if you’re interested: http://thoughtsonmybookshelf.wordpress.com/?s=love+in+the+time+of+cholera&submit=Search

    • I haven’t read One Hundred Years of Solitude yet! I’ve heard many good things, but I think I’ll put it off for a bit longer. I need a break from this heavy literature for a while, you know? πŸ™‚ Thanks for the review link! Good review!
      Olivia

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